It's a strange time in the world right now. It's a time where I am incredibly grateful for having small children who don't understand what is going on, and who can't feel the anger that is raging on both sides of the tracks. It's a time where I am trying to shield their innocence with a happy face, while trying to keep my sanity knowing that there are small children who don't have their parents by their sides to tuck them in and kiss them goodnight. It's a time that I have heard about in our world's history, but a time that I never thought that I would see and experience for myself. It is a time when my mind is rushing around trying to find some glimmer of hope and light, that at the moment..is really only found in the sweet faces of my kids and the comfort of my family and community.
During the past few weeks I have noticed that I have been drifting in and out of reality. I have been going between reading depressing news articles and visiting / purchasing from ecomm sites which provides me with a temporary sense of euphoria. Sounds crazy right?! I thought so too, until I started texting with some of my girlfriends who said that they have been doing the same exact thing. We are living in a time where we feel helpless and sad and scared (but we need to know what is going on!), so we are turning to shopping to make us feel temporarily better. We are turning to shopping to give us something to look forward to, and by something...I mean that beautiful little package that is waiting for you when you get home. That package that says "where have you been? I came here specifically for you" as it bats it's pretty little lashes (I know, I know....you're crazy LCL). The reality that I don't think about...how these purchases are REALLY hitting my bank account.
These aren't post 911, "let me purchase a lipstick because it's affordable and makes me look pretty and feel better" purchases...we're talking bags, clothes, shoes, Box of Style, early xmas gifts...and anything else I feel like I/ "we" need. Sometimes I just put items in my cart and let them sit there, but lately...I have been pulling the trigger and going full on purchase..all in the name of something to look forward to. Maybe these purchases are a cry for normalcy. Maybe these purchases give us the false sense of reality that we are looking for...they make us feel like everything is OK, when we know that it's not. It's totally superficial.
Whatever the case, this chica has got to Stephanie Tanner "cut. it. out." for the sake of my real income.
To all of you depressive shopaholics out there...stay strong...you're not alone.