It's one the most exciting times in life.....THE BIG DAY! A day that some women and men dream about their entire lives. The day that you plan for, you prepare for, the day that you primp and skimp for...OK so maybe I didn't skimp....but I DID get a facial every four weeks and a colonic every six weeks leading up to said "BIG DAY" if that isn't primping, I don't know what is. It's the day that you feel like you FINALLY have that man on lock.
Hopefully, for those of you married readers, the days leading up to your proposals and matrimony were filled with happy, romantic memories (probably a few tears...maybe an argument or two?). You were woo'd, courted, flirted with, taken out to dinner. You were SURPRISED every once in a while (you know...if you are into that sort of thing). You thought to yourself....this is the pppppuuuurrfeeeccttt guy, and I hope that I get to spend the rest of my life with him. Then abracadabra you're wish came true...your man confessed his love to you, he put a ring on it, he swept you off your feet, and as it turns out...he put YOU on lock! That trickster.
You guys know how the rest of the story goes...you get married, you're amazing newlyweds, you can't wait to grow a family ( maybe you start with a dog), you have a kid or two, you're new and tired parents, yada yada yada....and before you know it...your marriage (and maybe even you) have turned into something that you don't recognize. You know that you and your partner are working towards the same goal of a happy, healthy family...but you are literally working in tandem. You are working so parallel to one another that you can't even see each other out of your periphery, and it can feel like what's the point of even trying to be romantic.
I write about this today, because I heard a few people yesterday talking about how they had nothing planned for their partners for Valentines Day, not a card, not a flower, not even an "I love you" text...because they had been married for x amount of years....that ship had sailed. And while I know that Valentine's Day is an over commercialized bullshit holiday - I also view it as a reminder day to celebrate each other and the flirtatious courtship that popped off what is now your crazy, unpredictable circus of a life together. Everyday has that potential, and it's goes both ways...it's not just the dude's job.
I'm not trying to preach like my marriage is perfect or like my man is knocking my socks off on the reg (sorry babe). It is some straight up WORK, but it is something that I try to keep in the back of my mind as often as I can, which isn't easy when you have life going on around you. It is something that my husband and I have had many conversations (ahem...arguments) about. It is something that we strive for whether it's a hug or a little kiss amidst the crazy. It's the "I can't believe that this is our life now" chuckle that we share when our kids are being nuts. It's the date night once a month where we REALLY get to see one another for the first time in weeks. It's the texts, the "goodnights", the "I love you" (Don't forget the "I"),It's the surprises. It's finding the person that you fell so in love with behind all of the beautiful chaos you have built together, and realizing that they have been looking for you too.
It's so hard to not forget about each other when you are in the moments of getting ready for school, getting dinner on the table (the WORST time of day), getting the kids ready for bed, changing diapers...the list goes on and on, which is why these relationships are so hard I think, but the effort is SO worth it.
Like I told my husband during a heated discussion "We're married, not dead!", and like I told someone yesterday "Your wife isn't going to be mad at you for surprising her with flowers on Valentine's Day". Or any day for that matter.....
Love each other, see each other, celebrate each other...that's how all of this got started, right?